Annie Crenshaw
Baddest
Ass in the West
NAME: Annie Crenshaw
USERNAME(s): QUCKDRW, AK47
GunGun, Dbltrbl15, STAR.NIPS.
HAIR: Brown.
EYES: Brown.
HEIGHT: 5 feet, 6 inches.
WEIGHT: 135 pounds.
MEASURMENTS: Not bad…. Huge
Boobs.
HOBBIES: Target Practice,
Pig Wrestling, leather boots.
WEAPONS: Guns, Revolvers, Riffles, Semi Automatic
Guns, Cyber Automatic Guns, Boot Spurs, Sunshine Pasties Automatic Guns.
CRIMES: Train Robberies mostly. Locomotive
Robberies, Elevated Train Robberies, Maglev Robberies, Monorail Robberies,
Department Store Training Videos, Soul Train Robberies, she’d even steal your train of thought! She was also found guilty of boobies in the first degree.
SENTENCE: Not long enough! This is one bad apple,
and she’s so rotten she might just spoil the whole bunch! She loves making
trouble (she has no trouble making love), she’s a real trouble maker. Running
around all the time shooting her guns, Drinking Whiskey, sometimes a whole
bottle!! There is no hope of rehabilitating her. Nazdak, however, is trying to
get up the nerve to ask her out.
HISTORY: Annie Crenshaw was always a rebel. Born
in Hoosiewoo, Texas in 1832, she was raised on guns and grits. She shot her
first gun at the age of 2. She was such a good shot by the age of 5 that she
even won a contest. One day when she was running around in the fields, she found a dairy farm and a cow had got stuck
down in the milkin’ parlor. The farmer’s wife asked Annie if she could help. Annie
said, “Sure as a shoeshine!” and shot the old heffer out. And that’s how we got
Swiss cheese.
Annie went on to become a local legend
and in time she had become a regional legend. Then Annie went on to become an
American legend and people knew her from Bangor, Maine to Sacramento,
California; from Detroit, Michigan to New Orleans, Louisiana; from
Indianapolis, Indiana to Gary, Indiana; from Bangor, Maine to Sacramento,
California.
Folks say that her vagina was so deep
that one day, whilst she were in Arizona, she spread her legs, and that’s how
we got the grand cannon. The musically inclinated wrote ditties (songs) about
it:
♫
Here is a story of old Annie Crenshaw,
Mean as a bear or a tiger I bet cha’,
She’d even throw a knife at you if she had one,
And carve up your liver… just for the fun
At first she seems pretty and that’s how she gets ya,
Her woo-woo’s been wanted by many a fella,
But her unfortunate bedtime companion,
Finds out her hoo-hoo’s as big as the Grand Canyon.
♪
In 1852, at the
age of 20, Annie met her partner in crime, Bo Worthington, a sailor by trade
and a gambler. The two of them would run games at saloons and taverns, cheating
and stealing and running off to the next town. They made a good run of it, but
unfortunately Bo got shot by a sheriff one day. The sheriff was gunning for
Annie too, but she jumped into the ocean and swam away. She went to the lost
underwater city of Atlantica, and lived their for 200 years. She finally
emerged from the great ocean in 2054, still just 22 years old, and continued
right where she left off, robbing and stealing, getting into fights and virtual
fights, stealing money from people and getting into fights. She learned how to
log into the internet and that was that she became a cyber super villain.
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