THE BLOB
Big Fat Fuck
NAME: The Blob
USERNAME(s): blobblob, bigblob, blbbybrwn, 123blob,
fat_ass.
HAIR: Black
EYES: Shit brown.
HEIGHT: 6 feet
WEIGHT: 300 pounds.
MEASURMENTS: fat all over.
HOBBIES: I don’t even know, I think he just sits
around his fucking apartment (that his
parents still help
him pay for!) and watches TV. I don’t hate him because he’s big, he’s just a
dink. And he’s got a girlfriend too, that’s what’s so weird, and he doesn’t
even appreciate her. I don’t know why he thinks he can pick on people.
WEAPONS: His fat ass. His stupid fuck fat ass.
Also, he says he’s good with computers too, yeah right! I’d take him on any
day. I would destroy him. I asked him if he knew how to do some super simple
things in html and Java and he didn’t even know. Just cause he went to college
he thinks he’s a genius.
CRIMES: Talking about people behind their backs,
not doing shit at work. Makes other people pick up after him.
SENTENCE: He’ll be in cyber-prison forever, at least
he should be, if I had anything to do with it.
HISTORY: The blob was born in the late 20th
century to a couple of rich assholes. He went to school and college, and got a
degree in computer programming from like the best school in the country! And he
still doesn’t know anything. I asked him some stuff and he didn’t even know. He
just sits there and he eats. When he was a kid he was an asshole too, probably.
He’s so fat that one time he ate his own shit.